Hi Dian. I actually did think maybe I should gloss this one a bit as I get that it's opaque. A fill in the blanks or a Rorschach test sort of piece, one might say. It started with actual disappointment that I'd missed the Cartier-Bresson exhibit. Not a big deal, but then I played with his notion of 'the decisive moment' his method for taking photos, how it can mean different things, including the moment when everything shifts, say from a state of well being to sorrow, and the loss that entails. I don't specify the moment or the sorrow. It's left abstract, for the reader to complete. In any case, this is the theory. The question is, does it work? Let me know what you think because if you think it doesn't, I do want to know! Thanks.
The last stanza doesn’t deliver what your explanation above implies. For me, the poem is too obscure and leaves me confused as to what you’re saying without giving a pivotal point. Abstract doesn’t work unless there’s a grounding somewhere. Wish we could discuss in person! Also, adding the 2 photos confused me more. What did they refer to in the poem or vice versa? Maybe just one more stanza, something specific?? Send me if you choose to rework! ♥️
Thanks, Dian. Very helpful perspective. I don't disagree, finally. I think I'll be carrying on with this one, or put it away for a while. I think it was a bit premature to send it out. As for the photos, just the overly obscure allusion to Cartier-Bresson's philosophy in the line, 'as the moment, decisive, passes,' and the geishas are the 'kimono clad / lovelies' of the poem. And yes, talking in this fine a detail about a poem would definitely benefit by being in person. Appreciate.
I think the show must go on, as one person awake to see the theater like a Noh drama unfold, re told in many ways and each time a new interpretation could be created , even if seen by only two eyes.
For the first time, I don’t seem to understand this poem. What are you saying? ❤️
Hi Dian. I actually did think maybe I should gloss this one a bit as I get that it's opaque. A fill in the blanks or a Rorschach test sort of piece, one might say. It started with actual disappointment that I'd missed the Cartier-Bresson exhibit. Not a big deal, but then I played with his notion of 'the decisive moment' his method for taking photos, how it can mean different things, including the moment when everything shifts, say from a state of well being to sorrow, and the loss that entails. I don't specify the moment or the sorrow. It's left abstract, for the reader to complete. In any case, this is the theory. The question is, does it work? Let me know what you think because if you think it doesn't, I do want to know! Thanks.
The last stanza doesn’t deliver what your explanation above implies. For me, the poem is too obscure and leaves me confused as to what you’re saying without giving a pivotal point. Abstract doesn’t work unless there’s a grounding somewhere. Wish we could discuss in person! Also, adding the 2 photos confused me more. What did they refer to in the poem or vice versa? Maybe just one more stanza, something specific?? Send me if you choose to rework! ♥️
Thanks, Dian. Very helpful perspective. I don't disagree, finally. I think I'll be carrying on with this one, or put it away for a while. I think it was a bit premature to send it out. As for the photos, just the overly obscure allusion to Cartier-Bresson's philosophy in the line, 'as the moment, decisive, passes,' and the geishas are the 'kimono clad / lovelies' of the poem. And yes, talking in this fine a detail about a poem would definitely benefit by being in person. Appreciate.
Yes, please work on this. I’d like to see what you do.
I think the show must go on, as one person awake to see the theater like a Noh drama unfold, re told in many ways and each time a new interpretation could be created , even if seen by only two eyes.
Cool take, ‘the show must go on’. Yes, indeed. Thank you.
Beautiful.
Thank you, Ann!