16 Comments
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Dian Parker's avatar

You have a great way with last stanzas.

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man of aran's avatar

So glad you think so. Ending a poem is the hardest thing.

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Mike Speriosu's avatar

Agreed. Though sometimes I like the ones that kind of end abruptly, without much of a specified conclusion. Kind of like real life: all your memories always end at the present moment.

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Mike Speriosu's avatar

I just have to add: it's been a week since you wrote this comment, and I've thought of it several times in that span. You are so right that a poem's ending is quite tricky, and quite important. I've significantly changed the endings of a few of my poems due to your input and how it's made me reconsider (all in a very good way, of course). Thanks for being a powerful and inspirational force for creativity.

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Mike Speriosu's avatar

Very eloquent. Love what you’ve done with lowercase, line length, lack of punctuation, and stanza shape.

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man of aran's avatar

Thank you Mike. I don’t always make that choice. Happy it works for you!

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Mike Speriosu's avatar

Text matters! It's all part of the art and the artist's choices.

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Weston Parker's avatar

very interesting.

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man of aran's avatar

Thanks, Weston!

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Rodney Robertson's avatar

Nice cadence in that last stanza.

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Somiah Nettles's avatar

What a nice ending!

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Patris's avatar

Shades will persist in memory. They don’t leave, just move into the corners.

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Melangell's avatar

Remedios is such an underrated artist

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man of aran's avatar

That was my impression, too. When I came across this piece, it was familiar, but I hadn’t heard her name before. I soon found she has a quite large body of unique, fantastical work. Will definitely be returning to it.

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Chen Rafaeli's avatar

There is this play, by Evgeny Shwartz...it's called "The Shadow"...your poem reminded me of it...the premise...

thank you

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man of aran's avatar

That’s interesting. I’m not familiar with it. I’ll have to check it out. Thank you for reading!

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